*the two bots and the Saiyan enter*
Vegeta: Who ever said "life is worth living" was never tortured.
17: Stop it before I tell Dr.Gero you want another "Tasers to the genitalia" treatment.
18: Quiet, both of you!
Vegeta: Shut up, midget lover!
17: Yeah! You've never gotten a treatment in your life.

>A Goddess' visit
>by: Mileena

Vegeta: The huge, mutant sister of Releena.
17: Mileena- a Releena for a new millinium.

>A/N: This came to me suddenly, so if it sucks, oh well. Blah, blah, blah…

18: This girl is insane, right?

>Disclaimer- I don't own DBZ or anything else but these letters on the save

17: [author] Right now, thousands of tiny letters are getting copyrighted as I type this.

>Bulma rubbed her temples, shutting her eyes to guard them against the glare from
>the computer.

18: [Bulma to computer] Stop glaring at me!! I'm sorry! I'll never suggest getting upgraded to Windows Me again!

> She wondered why she was awake, working on an upgrade to Vegeta's
>gravity room. As if he did anything for her. She sighed.

Vegeta: [Bulma] But he does have handsomest widows peak.

>A hand touched her shoulder. She looked up to see her father. " Bulma, why are
>you up so late?"
>Bulma sighed again. " Working on Vegeta's Gravity room upgrade."

17: What's with all the sighing? Does she have asthma?

>" You should sleep some more. You look as if you haven't slept in days."

18: [Bulma] Well, sleep deprivation allows my mind to become unfocased and cause numerous errors, dad!

>" I haven't. I've been too busy."
>" Hmm…" Dr. Brief said. He looked thoughtful.

Vegeta: No, he looks freakish, what with that tumor of a cat on his shoulder.

>" Uh oh, Dad. I know that noise…don't do anything stupid!" Bulma said.

17: [Bulma] Like write the sequel to "Gokarina". Now that would be VERY stupid!

>"Me? Do something stupid?" Dr. Brief said.

Vegeta: [Dr.Briefs] But I've already written a first draft to "Gokarina II: Sailor Goku".

>Despite her tiredness, Bulma laughed.
>" I need to borrow your phone."
>" Why?" Bulma said.

Vegeta: [Dr.Briefs] I've been dying to call that Jamaican lady for a free tarot card reading.

> Dr. Brief took a piece of paper out of his pocket, looked at the number, and
>dialed. " Mileena? Oh, good. I caught you before you checked out. Listen, could
>you get down here? Now." Dr. Brief said.

18: [Bulma] Calling that hooker of yours again, dad?

>Suddenly, a black-haired woman appeared. Bulma was taken aback;

17: [Bulma] No one can get here that fast!

> she made Bulma look homely. Her long, black hair flowed down a few inches on her back.

Vegeta: This writer is calling my woman homely? Bah! She's obviously never seen Bulma naked.
17 & 18: *chanting* Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts.

>" You called?" Mileena asked sweetly.
>" You have a job." Dr. Brief said. She looked clearly confused. " You will live
>here, since you have no where else. You are now mine and Bulma's assistant."

17: *whispers* Insert backstory here.

>" OOOK…if you say so." Mileena said. She looked at Bulma. " Hello. I guess

Vegeta: [Mileena] Your father loves picking up crackwhores off the street.
17 & 18: Vegeta!

>I'm working for you, now."

18: [Mileena] Although I am considerably hotter than you.

>" Can you cook?" Bulma asked. " I'm in the mood for a really good meal."
>Mileena laughed. " With my family I—" Her face suddenly fell and so did a tear.
>She brushed it away and smiled. " Yes, I can."

18: Woah, someone is manic depressive.
Vegeta: Uh, her face is still on the floor.

>Seeing the look on her face, Bulma decided not to worry the question of
>family further. " Great! You are definitely hired!"

17: So they hire random strangers based on whether or not they can cook? I am so gonna start watching the Food Network.

>Mileena laughed. She walked upstairs, into the kitchen.

Vegeta: Then Mileena cried for an hour, walked to the bedroom and laughed for twenty minutes nonstop.

>Vegeta was sitting there, waiting for his dinner.

18: [Vegeta] STELLA!

>" Who are you?" He barked at her. She glared at him, but did not answer.

17: Since she did not speak the canine language.

>" Well?"
>" That's none of your concern, sir." She said coldly. She got out a capsule,
>which turned into a pantry, and picked out some ingredients, enough for one
>person…if the person was a Saiyan. She made this mix with it that smelled
>wonderful to Vegeta.

17: But to everyone else it smelled like crap.

>He got up and looked at it. I was a Saiyan food! But how would this woman know
>of it?

Vegeta: Saiyan food? We ate anything that crawled around.

>" This food…It's from the Planet Vegeta, isn't it?" Vegeta asked.
>" Yes. It's mine." She said. She sat down and began to eat it. " How do you know
>of Vegeta, anyway? It was destroyed by Freiza a few decades ago."
>" You stupid woman! I'm the Prince from that planet!" He snarled.

18: [Vegeta] How dare you ask me a simple question!

>She gasped. " Prince Vegeta?" She asked incredulously. " I should have known I

17: [Mileena] can feel your ego from a lightyear away.

>would have been drawn to you." She said. She walked over to his part of the
>table and bowed low in front of him. A tail showed itself.

Vegeta: The tail often made guest appearances on Leno and The Late Show with Conan O'Brian.... I miss my tail. Damn Yajirobei. Stupid fat-ass.

>" You… A Saiyan?" He asked, as if he couldn't quite believe it.
>" Not the most intelligent question you've ever asked, Vegeta." She said quietly.

18: Something tells me that his most intelligent question was similar to "Where's the food?".

> A sudden crying, coming from Trunks in the nursery got both of their attentions.
> " I'll see to your son, Vegeta. You can have my food. I've lost
>my hunger."

17: Listening to Vegeta does have that effect on a person.

> She said, walking in the direction of the nursery.
>" Who is that?" He asked himself. After finishing the food, he went to silently
>watch Mileena in the nursery.
>" You owe me big, little Prince." She said to Trunks. " I bestowed what would
>be considered bad luck onto your Tousan, but not really.

Vegeta: Why is this turning into "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle"?

>Well, your father's destiny was a breaking point among us, the Saiyan Gods.
> Some said that we should not interfere. Ha! We didn't, and look where he ended
> up. I was slated to be re-born, but too late." Her eyes were sad as she

18: Realized that she was an insane lunatic.

> talked to Trunks. He seemed to be listening. " I was gonna be re-born, but I
>kept stalling…then I was too late to change the fate of the Saiyan race. I was
>too slow to save them. I hear their screams in my dreams forever, millions of
>Saiyans crying out, and suddenly silenced." She put Trunks back down in his crib;
> his crying subdued, and continued her tale.

17: [Trunks] Dear God, I'll shut up if you please get this raving madwoman away from me.

>" As the gods, we were entrusted by the race to protect them, and we failed.
>Our last strings of existence lay on your father and Kakarot, Gohan and you.
>You four should feel honored.

Vegeta: [Mileena] I like you Trunks, I'll kill you last.

> You have an entire council of Gods looking out for you. I must leave you now,
>but, young Prince, heed my words; we will be together someday." She
>swooped, and was gone. Forever.

18: So she won't be back? Then what was all this "we will be together" crap?

>Vegeta realized she was a phantom. A phantom of a Goddess.

Vegeta: Ah yes... the ancient Saiyan legend of psycho female Saiyans.

>See? I told you it was really short. I just thought it up now.

17: Thanks for nothing, really.

*Dr.Gero appears*
Dr.Gero: Wassssup?
Vegeta: Did you even read this before you sent it here?
Dr.Gero: Uh, well no.
17: This was not so much painful as it was colorfully absurd.
18: I was interested to see a fiction writer take on the role of a fictious character. She has issues, captain.
Dr.Gero: Stop playing Spock, my cute little 18.
17: Why do you kiss ass so much, 18?!
18: What the hell? I didn't say anything unusual!
Vegeta: Stupid midget magnet.