Sam wrung her hands and had an evil smirk. Tonight... oh yes, tonight was the night when she would clone her most beloved character of all time. In a vial near a counter held some DNA. Not DNA3..because that's another anime, but the DNA of an evil villian.
"This vial is the DNA of the most beautiful creature ever!"

Vash, her lab assistant entered. "Are you okay, ma'am?"

"Look. I'm just going to add this vial..."
At this instant Vash stumbled and pushed Sam's vial into the Clone Machine and set it off. The machine buzzed and whirled wildly as it churned out a mysterious form enveloped in smoke.

"Vash, you little...." Sam rubbed her arm were she had hit the machine.

Vash look at the machine, "Hey look at the machine."

"Yes I see the machine..." -.-

The machine slowly opened to reveal the new form.

Whitney timidly walked in, her lab coat swaying in the cool, stagnant air. Peering into the small room, whisps and bars of light emanated from the machine.

"VASH!" Whitney laid her eyes on the cutie and ran up to him, hugging him uncontrollably.

She glimpsed over at the figure reaching toward them and screeched.

Vash smiled weakly while being squeazed half to death. "I miss you too, Whitney." He choked out.

"It's him!!" Sam pointed to the form in the mist. "It's Sephiroth."

Vash, who was busily trying to unhook the screaming Whitney from his waist, suddenly froze as the Sephiroth clone began to move.
The Sephiroth clone moved slowly from the depth of the shadows. He smiled a very large grin, quite un-Sephy-like. ''I LIKE LETTUCE!'' He squealed, with as much enthusiasm as a second grader.
Vash's jaw dropped to the floor. "What did he say?"

"Careful!" Sam shouted. "He knows about lettuce." She motioned towards Sephy. "We have lettuce. Why don't you come with me?" She smiled to Sephy.
She looked at Vash. "Get some lettuce now!" She said underbreath to the red-cloaked man.
Sephy looked around, his eyes the size of saucers, his jade pupils alive with amazement. He thought for a moment, and opened his mouth, as if to say something very well thought and processed. ''INFORMATION MILK!'' was what came out.

"Damn we're out of milk!" Sam silently cursed herself as she realized this dreadful fact.

Vash was still stunned. "I'm lactose intolerant."

Sam began to understand what Sephiroth was saying. "oh I see now, it's a code...." She smiled wickedly. "Information Milk, sir!"
Sephiroth started jumping foreward on one foot, hopping, carefully. He then jumped onto both his feet. He was playing hopscotch. ''THERE WERE 8 IN THE BED AND THE LITTLE ONE SAID.. 'ROLL OVER! ROLL OVER!' SO THEY ALL ROLLED OVER AND ONE FELL OUT! THERE WERE 7 IN THE BED AND THE LITTLE ONE-'' Sephy proceeded to trip and fall on his ass. ''Lauuuundry Basket!'' He belted.
Vash snapped out of his trance-like state. "My god he's an idiot!"

"No," replied Sam, "He's a genius! Don't you see??? GENIUS!" The then started to dance madly with Sephiroth, until he stepped on her foot.

"Ok he's an idiot." She said somberly. "This is Vash's fault and now he must destroy this crappy Sephiroth."

Vash stared at Sephiroth shaking his head 'no'.
Sephiroth was still wailing from falling on his rump whilst playing hopscotch. He ran over to Sam, putting his hand to her ear, and was just about to whisper something softly. ''BIKINI HOEDOWN!'' He screeched, then ran away frantically through the laboratory.
Whitney regained her posture and looked over at the Sephy clone, running amok through the halls. She cringed at his high-pitched voice.

"I say we bust a cap in his ass..." She blinked, waiting for an answer.

"Anyone have a gun?"
"GAHHH!" Sam clutched her ears in pain while searched in a drawer. "Where the hell is my pepper-spray?"

Vash took out his gun. "I don't like to hurt people." He stared at the gun. Then at the screaming sephy. He aimed the gun at Sephy who was still running around.
Sephiroth ran frantically through the laboratory, knocking down random bottles of liquid... Dioribonucleic Acid and the such. He slammed into Whitney, full force, knocking her over completely, smothering her. ''EGGS IN MY NOSE! EGGS IN MY NOSE!'' He screamed at her, his face flushed from running and screaming. ''EGGS IN MY NOSE, DAMMIT!'' He shook Whitney from the neck.
Whitney gagged as she was pulled off her feet and into the air by the wild clone. She choked and her pale face soon turned blue.

"No..milk..no...milk!" She choked out, lacking oxygen.
Vash got angry. "How dare you shake an innocent girl!" Vash ran up to Sephiroth and hit him with the butt of his gun.

Sam finally found the pepper-spray. And sprayed blindly. Unfortunately it was in Vash's face.

Vash was blinded, "Oh my God! I can't see! It's like a thousand knives stabbing my eyes!!!" He fell to the ground and shook violently in a fetal position.
Whitney stood up, her face back to it's normal color. She saw Vash lying on the ground and became very mad. She grabbed his gun out of his hands and pointed it at the Sephy clone.

"Time to die!" She screamed, blindly firing a bullet into the air.
Sephiroth SCREAMED. He ran, and jumped out through the window, landing swiftly on his feet... even though the building is several stories into the air... or underground o.O. He ran toward the only place that he could be considered safe... KFC. He ran into KFC and screamed at the cashier. ''PURPLE KOOL-AID, DAMMIT!''
The bullet ricocheted off a pipe and struck Vash in the leg.
Vash screamed in agony. "I never get hit by anything in the anime!!"

"this isn't the anime," Sam replied and dashed out of the lab in search of Sephy. His insane screaming could be heard for miles.
Whitney screeched. "But you looked so sexy when you sat next to the wall full of bulletholes and you never got hit!" She ran after the clone, seeking revenge.

Vash blushed despite the pain. He weakly wraps his leg and washed his still stinging face.

Meanwhile, Sam entered the KFC rather cooly. She ordered those little BBQ wings. She sat at a table and ate them. I'll get my revenge on you, Sweet Sephy she thought.
Whitney strolled in casually and cooly, sitting next to Sam.

"What about the clone?" she murmured, stealing a chicken wing. "I want revenge!"
Sephiroth was in the back of the KFC... rummaging through garbage cans, eating remnants of food. He looked up and saw Sam. O.O! He climbed ''through'' the 1ft x 2ft window... and got stuck. "Oatmeal and RATS!'' he screamed, as he tried to wiggle free.
Whitney looked over at the clone and gasped, raising her gun and aligning it to it's head.
Sam heard the sound of clamoring. She looked at Whitney who had her gun poised at Sephy. "He's in the garbage can outside." She got up and grabbed the box as she ran outside. She obviously wanted to get the other end of him.

Vash stumbled into the KFC but was pushed to the floor as Sam ran outside. "Dammit!" Vash cried. "This just isn't my day!"
Sephiroth was standing in a dark alleyway, alone. An owl hooted. A dog barked. A cat peed on his leg. He was scared. He ran as fast as he could into the nearest building, knocking the newly-stood-up Vash back down again. He looked around in awe. He was... back in KFC?
Whitney stood and ran to Vash, pointing her gun at Sephy's head. "NO CHICKEN WINGS FOR YOU!" she screamed. EVeryone in the KFC stared at her then ran out the door as Vash layed on the ground.
Sam was running so fast and furiously that she ran into a McDonalds on the other side of town.

Vash was on the floor again, but this time screaming, "LOVE AND PEACE!! WHITNEY DON'T KILL HIM!"
Sephy ran past Whitney with lightning speed. He sensed danger. He ran to Mickey Dee's and found... Sam, ordering some fries. ''RABID GRAPES!'' he screamed, and then grabbed Sam and flew away, much to the dismay of Whitney.
Sam was in Sephy's arms as he flew away. "What the hell are you?" She was frightened. "Were are my lab assistants?"

Sephiroth gave her a puzzled look.

"we need to get back to the lab."

Vash tooks his gun away from Whitney. "You can't do that, Whitney." He hugged her. "We'll get that idiot somehow."
Whitney smiled. "I wanted to shoot him...I...LIKE guns..." Her eyes got wide and Vash got a funny look on his face.

Whitney looked around. "Let's search for the clone," she suggested. "I think it has Sam.."
Sam screamed her head off, "help me! Help me!"

Vash limped in the direction whitney went, silently cursing himself. He looks at whitney, "don't hurt anyone.. only love & peace...." he trailed off.
Sephy landed at Midas. He ran into the car shop, Sam laying backwards over his shoulder. He ran up to the counter. ''I AM A SOAP OPERA! WALRUS JUICE! WALRUS JUICE!'' He screamed, while doing the Time Warp. He set Sam down, but only to handcuff her to the counter, and run into the back of the store.
Frightened and handcuffed to the counter, Sam knew she had only two options...
Knaw her arm off, or wet herself in fright.
She opted to save herself some embarassment and chew her arm.

So she began... by licking her skin, still too afraid to actually rip the skin.
Whitney ran into the Midas car shop, Vash in tow, whining the whole way for food. Seeing Sam handcuffed to the counter, she knew the clone had to be around here somewhere. Grabbing Vash by his red collar, she made her way to the back of the shop. Vash stole a few donuts along the way from the fat dude behind a computer desk and walked on.
Sephy looked around. He ran to a tire and put his head and arms around it, so as the have it around his torso. He then got on his stomach and started rolling sideways. He rolled until he smacked into the garage door, then was knocked out cold.
Vash continued to eat the donuts. "Mmm! Very good!"

Sam sqirmed looking at Whitney. "Help me!" she cried out. "Please! Sephiroth tied me to the counter! He's out cold. You can get him now!" She whimpered to herself. "I wish I hadn't drank all that tea this afternoon."
Whitney saw the clone and pounced upon it. "MAUAUAUAUAUAH YOU LITTLE MFer I HAVE YOU NOW!" She smacked it across it's face, oblivious to Vash standing off to the side, looking a little scared.

Suddenly the clone woke up and slapped Whitney upside the face, flinging her into a bunch of empty donut boxes.
Vash's eyes grew red. His whole face burned with a fury unlike any have ever seen. He looked at Sephiroth and screamed, "DON'T HIT A LADY!" whilst little chunks of moist pre-chewed donut flew out of his mouth and hit Sephiroth on the face. Vash reached for his gun.

Sam, meanwhile, was searching the counter for something to unlock herself with. Finding a paperclip she tried to unlock the handcuff only to find that they grew tighter as she did this. "Owie." She muttered at her vain attempt.